From Sky: A Response to Week Sixteen

Before I get too far into this I want to drop another video of RiFF and Lil Debbie which I think can be included with the discussion of “Brain Freeze” and (a track I personally love) “Squirt”. If you haven’t peeped “Michelle Obama” you need to!

First, you’re totally right. Why is it that it “works” for RiFF RAFF, but doesn’t for Lil Debbie? Their lyrics are damn near identical. “I should’ve worked at KFC / Rap game Mona Lisa, Masterpiece”? I mean, you can just see that line coming from RiFF’s iced out mouth. Let’s be honest, the fact that their lyrics sound so similar is probably because RiFF RAFF helps her write them. Did you ever think you’d see RiFF RAFF as a ghostwriter? That’s my answer to that.

When it comes to believability, due to the similar nature of their lyrics, I feel RiFF and Debbie get grouped together as “bad”. To put it simply. RiFF is far from “bad” in my opinion, however… Lil Debbie on the other hand? She is bad. I don’t think it has anything to do with her lyrics, which, yeah, some are totally clever, “Stop hating like the cops before I connect all the dots / When it comes to houses, I’ve got more spots than a dalmatian”, and from “Michelle Obama”: “Tint look like the first lady, gettin’ brain in stretched ‘cedes”. Now are these “good” lyrics, per se? Not really, yet in the same track RiFF can drop shit like, “I could glow like the sun at noon / Might change my government name to jody 3 moons” (“Michelle Obama”) and “Ice water on the band with the somersault slam / Body slam competition, frostbit air conditioning” (“Brain Freeze”). [Bonus points if you can tell me what that last line even means]. Why does it work for him and not for her? Well I think it has to do more with a movement than anything. Get ready for some shitty hip hop!

This was a big guilty pleasure hit when it came out. You can even spot Lil Debbie in Kreayshawn’s video. This is just a bonus thing, but here’s how much money Kreayshawn made off her album which only moved a rumored 3,900 copies.

Also, and goddamn, even worse is V Nasty. I mean dat name.

What I find… interesting, I guess… about V Nasty is she drops the N-bomb in her raps despite being a white girl. Here’s her speaking on it… oh and who is that in the background???

This is a fad. Well, maybe I should say was a fad. I don’t know if you’re familiar with Rob Dyrdek, the professional skateboarder who has such popular Mtv shows such as Rob & Big and Rob Dyrdek’s Fantasy Factory. Well I don’t know if you ever watched Fantasy Factory but his “secretary” on the show was a cute little blonde girl named Chanel. Well, Chanel wanted to be a rapper. With enough publicity and, come on, her looks didn’t hurt, and I’m sure with a butt-load of money, she achieved her dream. Chanel West Coast.

(Check that 2:56 mark!!).

Chanel West Coast is awful. V Nasty is awful. Kreayshawn is awful. Lil Debbie is awful. They’re just awful. What Lil Debbie has going for her is her looks.

Chanel West Coast is the same way. (She’s also Young Money) I mean, just look at her video there for “I Love Money”. She’s dressed all sexy and shit. I mean, on the cover of her album Now You Know she’s wearing a see-through top. Go ahead and Google image search for Lil Debbie. So many promotional photos, model photos and twitpics of her being all sexy. I mean, what’s sexier than a girl in lingerie eating pancakes?

Lil Debbie

I think it’s real interesting how involved RiFF RAFF is with these girls. He has connections to all of them. I don’t think he’s ghostwriting for all of them, but I’m pretty positive he does for Lil Debbie.

I guess what I’m saying is that the only reason these female rappers are in our zeitgeist is because they’re bad. Bad not as in terrible rappers, but bad as in mixing syrup, smoking blunts, dropping F and N bombs, acting “ratchet”, dressing slutty.

After all, like Laurel Thatcher Ulrich said, “Well-behaved women seldom make history”.


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